Forever is Forever
by raggedybluebox
Summary: We've just found out who the twelfth Doctor is, so this is kind of a goodbye to Eleven. Seen between Clara and Eleven, they both know that soon it'll be time, and they'll have to let one another go. One-shot. Literally wrote this just now, so I hope it's ok :)


Eleven knocks. Clara wondered whether she had the guts to go and answer the door. She could hear him hammering on the glass, insistent, possibly ecstatic about something. Ready for adventure. Was she ready for this? She glanced at herself in the mirror. Long black coat, because she wasn't a babysitter anymore. Boots, because she was used to life running down corridors, even if it wasn't after him. And a smile plastered on her face, because she knew she was going to need it.

'Clara.' The Doctor's face broke into a beam when she swung the door open. 'How are you? Don't answer that, I'm speaking quickly because I have a proposition to make and I've had sugar and that combination means I speak quickly – also I don't want to be late so I need an answer. An old friend's having a tea party right in the centre of the most beautiful collection of stars in the universe, the Columbus constellation and I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me as a plus one!' He clapped his hands together and practically bounced on his heels with excitement. 'And we have special invites, look!' He flapped two tickets at her as if this was the greatest gift of all time. 'Free chocolate too,' he grinned.

Clara didn't know what to say. She stared at him for several long seconds, wondering how many other secrets he was hiding behind false promises and fancy parties. Feeling the burn in her eyes, she smiled wider and shrugged the tears off. 'Sure. Why not?'

The Doctor gave her a hug. Not expecting this, her eyes widened and she patted his back. 'Happy?' she guessed. Because she was. It was stupid, but she was happy whenever she was with him, even when she felt like crying.

He gripped her tighter, apparently not wanting to let go. That was fine by her. She breathed in the smell of his jacket as if it was the last time. Which it might just be.

After what seemed like an eternity, he released her and held her at arm's length. 'Clara Oswin Oswald,' he said affectionately. 'And here I came thinking it would get easier.'

'What would get easier?'

That was the time for him to look uncomfortable. 'Nothing,' he said, kicking the ground. Then he looked up at her, the sparkle back in his eyes. 'Let's go get some tea.'

He leaned forward to take her hand, but she stepped backwards quickly. 'I have to – I have to ask you something first.'

He looked surprised. 'Of…of course,' he stammered.

'I haven't seen you in ages,' she started. Then, hesitantly, 'I started thinking you weren't…' she broke off. 'You weren't coming back.'

He frowned and cupped her cheek in his hand. 'Never. I'd always come back for you.' His voice wasn't quite as cheerful as it had been.

'I need to know the truth, Doctor.'

A flash of worry crossed his face. And in that moment, to Clara he looked so vulnerable. As if he knew what she was thinking.

She looked at him desperately. 'Is this forever?'

There was a long silence. To Clara, the Doctor's eyes had never seemed older.

A ghost of a smile edged across his mouth. 'This?'

'You. Me. The TARDIS.' Her voice cracked. 'Can I stay with you?'

'You know nothing lasts forever…'

Clara threw a hand up in the air, partly through exasperation, partly through upset. 'Then what am I doing here?' she asked. 'Tell me, Doctor, because it's killing me. One day I won't be standing here. _We_ won't be here.' She gestured between them.

The Doctor nodded slowly, then placed his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. 'Maybe. I've had eleven different lives, countless companions. There's always been danger, there's always been change. But what are you doing here? With me? No idea. With the TARDIS? And space and time travel?' He brought his face close to hers and his features lit up in a wide, kind smile. 'You're _living, _Clara. And you're living the now.' He jerked his head. 'Well, the now and the past and the future, actually, but you're making the most of it.' He stared right into her eyes, leaning against the doorframe. 'That's worth doing, isn't it?'

She looked like she wanted to hug him, but refrained.

'I know,' she choked. 'Why you're more distant all the time, like you're…like you're preparing me for when you're not there.' She took a shaky breath. 'You won't answer my calls, you're even avoiding me. Don't you think I know what you're doing?' she asked him angrily, unable to conceal the hurt in her eyes.

'Clara…'

'I don't want you to leave,' she blurted. 'You made my life…amazing, and exciting, you…'

He skipped over to the TARDIS and rested a hand on its blue frame. 'And I'll continue to do it for as long as I can.' He looked across at her. 'I swear to you, Clara, this isn't the end.'

'You don't understand.' She stepped out of her house and walked over to him, closing her eyes against the enticing hum of the time machine. 'I've been in your time stream, and unlike you I didn't block it out!' she said sharply. Tears ran down her face. 'I've seen bits of your future. And I know now what we both know.'

He didn't say anything for a while. Then he said, quietly, 'I don't know what you saw, but you need to forget it–'

'Shut up!' she shouted. 'Doctor I need you.' She stared at him pleadingly. 'How am I supposed to go back to normal life without you? I haven't seen you in months and then you suddenly appear asking me to go to a _tea party_ and I think, if I open that door I'm going to love you and then I'm going to lose you _again–'_ She broke off into sobs. 'You're going to regenerate,' she got out. Then she cried harder, and he wrapped his arms around her and they stood, her weeping, him trying to hold it together.

'You're right,' he whispered. He rocked her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. 'I'm so sorry. But you know what?' His own tears ran down his face as he smiled. 'Even when it's my time…I'll never forget you. You're not just one of many, Clara. You're one _in_ a million. I'll love you, Clara. I'll love you forever.'


End file.
